Arjun Singh's guide to Politics,education & backward caste dharma!

Name : Omkar Bimalesh Chandra Arjun Singh ( O.B.C Arjun Singh!)

D.O.B : 5/11/1930

Languages Known : English,Hindi

Area of Specialisation : Corruption,Minority Appeasment


For the uninitiated,this isn't the resume of any Nobel prize nominee.The person in question heads the ministry of Human Resource Destruction,India. This was by no means an exaggeration. Given a free hand, he would,under the garb of promoting "secularism",remove the last vestiges of self respect any upper caste might ever have. Textbooks would be re-written under the name of "de-saffronising" them, syllabi would be updated with full focus on minorities, special treatment would be meted out to backward castes in premier institutes ( read IITs & IIMs) & finally,the remnant would be treated to mud pies. And given the chance,he would even charge for them & chidingly say," There is no such thing called free lunches!".
Given the course of developments in the country, I wouldn't be surprised if,on his suggestion, a Mendel commission (*any similarity in name to the 1990 Mandal Commision is purely accidental,if u choose to ignore the fact that all that the author has done is to replace the vowels*) is set up to identify the problems besseting the underprivileged & suggest suitable steps to alleviate their sufferings. This,Arjun Singh would claim,is in line with the UPA govt's "paint the town red" policy. The commision would be presided over by 3 eminent personalities viz. S.C.kanth, S.T.Murugan & O.B.C Ravi. After 3 months of holidaying at Hawaii,the commision would present its report which would be subsequently tabled in the parliament amidst total chaos. Annexure 3 would read as follows:

• a) Reservation in central insitutions has brought with it an influx of people(read forward castes)queing up for jobs of hotel servers,sweepers,roadside loafers,beggars amongst others.Therfore,the panel is of the considered opinion that,in order to ensure sustained presence of SCs,STs & other backward communities in these vocations, they must be given representation to the extent of 50.5%.
• b) Given the fact that the participation of backward castes in Indian sport is meagre, the commision recommends that 20% of the Indian cricket team i.e 3 out of a squad of 15, be selected from the SC,ST or OBC categories. However,this policy may be dispensed away with whenever the team takes in part in multi national events like the World Cup.This move is to ensure that the team's "competitiveness" doesn't suffer.
• c) Keeping in view the govt.'s directives to ensure equal opportunities for all, the commission recommends that the govt introduce a new reservation scheme for academically backward institutes. Academically backward institutions are those which are run typically by liquor barons who seek to advance their vested interests . Such institutions are characterized by lack of infrastructure,low faculty-student ratio,poor compensation schemes,resentment among students,frequent occurences of strikes amongst various other things.For a full list of paramters,refer Appendix 3A.

Upon reading this annexure, the author would heave a sigh of relief,as he sure that his institution would get refuge under the provision (c). His chances of cracking CAT '06 suddenly seem brighther.Hail Arjun Singh!!